I'm writing the post for you, may it help you just as it helps me to write it all down. Oh and it's not cloth diaper related....
Every day mommy wars take place online, where I live basically, and I am sure you all do more than you'd like to admit. Day in and day out I see women excitedly post about this or that accomplishment or super-human mommy task they've completed. Silently we compare ourselves though we try not to, and we compare our children to theirs as well.
The same goes for marriages you know. Nearly all of us mommies are also wives yet we seldom utter a word of the hardship being a mother, and trying to be a good mother at that, takes on our marriage. This in a way relates to my Mother's Day post. Facebook was teeming with "look at this breakfast in bed I received" and television promises that there are real life husbands who present their wives with diamonds and cars with big red bows on top.
I'll break the silence, being a good parent is HARD, and being a good wife and maintaining a good marriage while being a good parent...well that's even HARDER. I wish I saw more real and raw interactions online across social media outlets and blog posts. I think it would help me and others to know they are not alone, that someone can relate and that we all will get through it, hopefully intact.
I have a good marriage and I love my husband but it takes SO much work to maintain. Loving someone is the easy part, liking them through raising three kids without building resentment...is the tough part. I wonder sometimes if super moms are compensating for something or can they do it all? I know I'm not alone in wondering these things.
I recently got the opportunity to speak to a lovely and inspiring older couple. Married at least 40+ years and the parents of two older children. "How do you do it? How did you do it?" I asked. "We don't fight over little things" they said, "just let the small stuff roll off, life's too short." I wonder if that's easier for them to say now that it's just the two of them, when my marriage seems to be currently comprised of fighting over EVERY small thing.
I wish this blog post could have a real end with some kind of real life practical answer but I'm not there yet. My only advice is that you have to keep trying, make time for your marriage and partner, maintain that friendship and put your marriage before your kids from time to time if you have to.
Keep strong and know that yes, motherhood is the hardest job on earth but it's not your only job, which just makes it even harder. But we're tough, resilient, beautiful and capable. You probably keep most of these trials and troubles to yourself just as I do but we're not doing ourselves or anyone any good by pretending that these hardships don't exist.
Let's all support eachother. In between the butt wiping, housekeeping, working, and buying cloth diapers of course...let's keep it real. I will if you will.
Smooches,
Julie
Every day mommy wars take place online, where I live basically, and I am sure you all do more than you'd like to admit. Day in and day out I see women excitedly post about this or that accomplishment or super-human mommy task they've completed. Silently we compare ourselves though we try not to, and we compare our children to theirs as well.
The same goes for marriages you know. Nearly all of us mommies are also wives yet we seldom utter a word of the hardship being a mother, and trying to be a good mother at that, takes on our marriage. This in a way relates to my Mother's Day post. Facebook was teeming with "look at this breakfast in bed I received" and television promises that there are real life husbands who present their wives with diamonds and cars with big red bows on top.
I'll break the silence, being a good parent is HARD, and being a good wife and maintaining a good marriage while being a good parent...well that's even HARDER. I wish I saw more real and raw interactions online across social media outlets and blog posts. I think it would help me and others to know they are not alone, that someone can relate and that we all will get through it, hopefully intact.
I have a good marriage and I love my husband but it takes SO much work to maintain. Loving someone is the easy part, liking them through raising three kids without building resentment...is the tough part. I wonder sometimes if super moms are compensating for something or can they do it all? I know I'm not alone in wondering these things.
I recently got the opportunity to speak to a lovely and inspiring older couple. Married at least 40+ years and the parents of two older children. "How do you do it? How did you do it?" I asked. "We don't fight over little things" they said, "just let the small stuff roll off, life's too short." I wonder if that's easier for them to say now that it's just the two of them, when my marriage seems to be currently comprised of fighting over EVERY small thing.
I wish this blog post could have a real end with some kind of real life practical answer but I'm not there yet. My only advice is that you have to keep trying, make time for your marriage and partner, maintain that friendship and put your marriage before your kids from time to time if you have to.
Keep strong and know that yes, motherhood is the hardest job on earth but it's not your only job, which just makes it even harder. But we're tough, resilient, beautiful and capable. You probably keep most of these trials and troubles to yourself just as I do but we're not doing ourselves or anyone any good by pretending that these hardships don't exist.
Let's all support eachother. In between the butt wiping, housekeeping, working, and buying cloth diapers of course...let's keep it real. I will if you will.
Smooches,
Julie
