We co-sleep. Always have, always will. PERIOD
My first child, our daughter, is 13yrs old and today is her 2nd day of 8th grade. I've been finding myself extremely emotional lately when it comes to our relationship. She pushes me away at every turn. She's working on becoming a grown person. She's fierce, competitive, proud, opinionated, stubborn and needy- although she'd never admit to it. She's just like me- again, something she'd roll her eyes at the thought of. She'll learn to embrace vulnerability one day, just as I have, but right now and for the next several years she'll go to war with it and I'll let her. She and I have something else in common, we both prefer to co-sleep. I can't blame her, upon reflecting on my life I realize that I co-slept with my parents off and on as they'd allow until I was at least her age. Co-sleeping takes on a different shape as your kids age. When I was a child, after finally learning to fall asleep in my own room, I'd go to bed alone, sleep all night and then wander into my parents room early in the morning squeezing my body onto the very edge of the bed next to my mom until it was time to wake up. After all, aren't our parents beds always the most comfortable? Similarly, my now 13 yr old daughter sleeps alone, she is capable of it and has been for years, but on nights when my husband is on shift and I have my bed to myself she asks that I come get her, no matter how late it is, when I am ready to go to sleep. I oblige. Of my 38 years of life I've slept with people I love for the bulk of it. I slept with my parents exclusively as a baby and toddler and as they'd allow it growing up. I went from my parents house to sleeping in the same room as my my college roommates. From there I met my husband, who was then my boyfriend, and we were inseparable. As a mother, my babies each slept at my breast for two years and now my growing children sleep with me as they need me. Truth be told, I rarely sleep alone. As parents of young children it's normal to WANT them to put themselves to sleep in their own room, to NEED your bed to yourself for your sanity and your marriage's sake, but it's also normal as human beings to want to be close to the people whom we love. I've been through the co-sleeping struggles, the bed-sharing doubts. “Did we do the right thing?” “When will it ever end?” “They'll never learn to fall asleep on their own!” “I just need a good night's sleep!” “I want my space back!” It was hard but it was the life we'd chosen for our family and we've made it through. We've now come full circle. She claims it's the King size bed, pillow top mattress or cozy blankets, but I know her reasons for wanting to sleep in my bed is about more than that. These precious nights are numbered and the times when I appear in her room only to have her roll over and stay in her own bed are becoming more frequent, but until she's done I plan to soak up every moment of co-sleeping bliss that this family life has to offer. Do you co-sleep and have you considered how your bed-sharing relationship with your children will grow and evolve as they mature?
I'm Julie, a former cloth diaper retailer who discovered a passion for the industry. Now, instead of selling cloth diapers, I advocate them and promote small businesses I love who sell and manufacture them.
I'm the wife of a fireman and mother of three. I have a daughter and identical twin sons.
Valerie Muigai says
I love this article! We have coslept will all three of our babies- our youngest who is 15 months is still in bed with us, but our oldest who is 7 comes in from time to time in the middle of the night, and our 4 year old comes in almost every night. When my husband travels, all 3 of them are in bed with me. I can see my 7 year old daughter continuing to do this for many years. There is so much unnecessary taboo against cosleeping in the US – I have found it to be much easier and more restful for me and my children, and they are only little for such a short time! I had a lot of nighttime anxiety as a child and slept so much better when one of my sisters or my mom was also in the room. Now I’m in Uganda where it’s almost unheard of for a child to sleep in a room by themselves, and certainly not a baby. Cosleeping does not even raise eyebrows here, it’s just the norm, like most cultures in the world.
sherry blamer says
I co-sleep with my two children. I have a four year old who sleeps next to us in her bed. I have a four month old who sleeps next to me. I co-slept in bed with my daughter when she was a baby and she still likes reaching out to make sure I’m there next to her. I get so much sleep co-sleeping. I know my kids are safe when they are in the same room as me. I probably wont get much when they get their own rooms when they are older much older.
Rebecca Gettel says
This is sweet! I always feel badly for not cosleeping but it just doesn’t work for us! I nurse the babies in our bed and sometimes they stay there for awhile, but I can’t fall asleep unless they’re in their own bed. I mean, we have snuggles in our bed but my husband and I both need our space in order to sleep well. Case in point–it took us a good three months to get used to sleeping in the same bed after we got married. THREE MONTHS before either of us slept well. I even suggested we sleep in the guest bedroom on our old twin beds just so we could get one decent night’s sleep, ha ha!
kenneth joy says
That’s a sweet story from you Julie.
As a cloth diaper retailer, you have understood about kids and their co-sleeping with their parents.
We all had used to this only while we are kids.
Thanks for sharing an awesome experience.
Jaclyn Bree says
My girl is 15 months now and we co-slept up until a couple months ago. My husband wanted his bed back (he pretty much slept on the couch that whole year, firstly in fear of smothering our daughter and secondly in annoyance because she just loves to kick him in her sleep).
I miss having her next to me but I also really enjoy having the freedom to move around in bed. Sometimes in the morning before I’m ready to get up she might wake up and I’ll bring her into bed with me. So I kind of get the best of both worlds.
Carole M. says
We adopted our daughter at age 12,just two months before her 13th birthday and since she was starting over,we put her into cloth diapers and rubberpants 24/7 due to her having wetting accidents.The first week she slept in her oversize crib in her room with no problems,but then started having nightmares and being scared.We finially moved her crib into our bedroom and let her sleep there with us.She felt much safer and was able to sleep soundly.
Corrine says
To Carole-Our 14 year old daughter started wetting the bed 3 months before her 15th birthday due to some emotional problems.We put her into cloth diapers and rubberpants also and then got the the size 8 pampers cruisers diapers for teens and started alternating with them between the cloth diapers and the pampers.She wore the rubberpants over the pampers just the same as her cloth diapers.Her bedwetting lasted for over a year and stopped just a couple months past her 16th birthday.