If you would have told me that I’d be the mama to identical twins when I grew up I would have died laughing. The thought never crossed my mind and having been an only child myself, kids in general weren’t on my mind much at all until my mid-twenties.
So, fast forward to 2006, my husband and I find out we’re expecting twins. Heart attack! We’re told that we won’t know if they’re identical until they’re born (along with a ton of other misinformation about carrying multiples) and while they’re in utero I read all sorts of books about twin pregnancies and raising twins, hoping to soak up all the information I can.
We all know, pregnant with twins, a singleton, your first child or your fifth child, people want to share with you their thoughts, beliefs, experiences, opinions, stories and other random things you later wish you could permanently erase from your memory. Theses apparently “informed” individuals suggest you make them have separate bedrooms, different classes, different friends, activities and for the love of god they warn-DO NOT make them wear the same outfit.
At 4 weeks old we found out our sons were identical, this year my sons will be 5yrs old. They’re BFF’s and I know they will be their entire lives. I’ve come to realize that having an identical twin is not something that parents or outsiders should try to fix. One doesn’t need to be saved from the other. The bond between two identical twins is like nothing I’ve ever witnessed and I feel blessed every day to have been chosen to be their mother.
They are absolutely perfectly identical and in sync with each other in so many ways, yet both are completely unique without any intervention at all. Dressing them the same, which I do from time to time, is absolutely harmless and nobody’s business but mine. Their connection with each other runs deeper than the cut of their hair, the clothes on their back or the classes that they’re in. I see no need to prematurely “break them up” or separate them of each other.
In time they’ll no doubt go their own way and choose their own paths, but if they don’t, if they choose to have the same career, share an apartment, never marry and grow old together, then I’d still be one of the happiest proudest mamas alive. They know better than anyone what it means to be a twin, an identical, and I trust life to continue to let the magic happen, I plan to simply stand back and watch.
I’m Julie, a former cloth diaper retailer who discovered a passion for the industry. Now, instead of selling cloth diapers, I advocate them and promote small businesses I love who sell and manufacture them.
I’m the wife of a fireman and mother of three. I have a daughter and identical twin sons.
