I had a baby with 15 people in the room!
FIFTEEN people! What the heck? I know you’re trying to wrap your head around this. Must have been a homebirth right? Nope.
My first pregnancy was pretty much by the book, and by that I mean that I mean about as generic as letting the preacher pick your wedding dress. I was not immersed in any online communities, there was no Facebook, in fact, I think my internet browser was the old school AOL dial-up. I also didn’t have any friends who had given birth yet so for myself and my family this was a first. While I always knew we’d co-sleep and breastfeed, there weren’t any plans, goals or even knowledge of natural childbirth. I thought my options were whatever my doctor gave me.
My mother wanted to be my labor coach so she attended the birthing classes with me and planned to be at my side while I labored. This worked out great because my husband’s work schedule didn’t allow him time to attend the classes. Plus, I’m pretty sure he would have thought they were bullshit.
My pregnancy went by pretty easily and I went in to labor naturally just a couple days past my due date. I labored through the night at home and went to my doctor in the morning where they promptly told me to head straight to the hospital because I had already dilated to 5 or 6.
My mother and I rushed to the hospital and my husband headed straight there from work. My mom called her bestfriend who was like a second mother to me and her daughter who was my childhood bestfriend. My husband called his parents and siblings to let them know I was in labor and his bestfriend. I called a couple close friends and one who worked at the salon where I worked so that she could tell my co-workers I was in labor.
We were collectively blowing up peoples phones, those who we knew would love to hear the news that we were on our way to have our baby!
Getting our wires crossed…
Like a good game of telephone, phone calls relaying the news somehow turned into invitations to head straight to the hospital and be at our side.
During our labor unit tour we were told that we were only allowed to have TWO PEOPLE in the room during the birth. We had already determined this would be my mother and my husband.
People would be allowed to come in while I was laboring but would be asked to leave when the time came to push, or so we were told.
By the time I was settled in my room we had people standing everywhere. I was focused more on my contractions then on who was watching.
Suddenly it was time to push. Why weren’t they asking me who I wanted to stay and who I wanted to leave? “Everyone out.” But it never came. I wasn’t panicking or embarrassed or mad, I really just didn’t know what to expect. However the last thing I would have guessed was that they wouldn’t be asking people to step out.
I delivered my daughter with these people in the room.
My husband
My mother
Mother-in-law
Father-in-law
His childhood bestfriend (who also brought his girlfriend)
My childhood bestfriend
My mother’s bestfriend
Sister-in-law
Niece
Friend of my husband and I
Co-worker from the salon (a pretty random one)
Paramedic in training who asked to assist so she could get credit for school
Nurse
Doctor
A few stood behind the curtain in our tiny room, but for the most part they all witnessed the birth of my daughter.
Sometimes I just have to look back and laugh. I still don’t know exactly how or what made all those people think they were supposed to rush right to my bedside? I know that at least a few of them were expecting to be asked to leave but that just never happened.
If I had it all to do over again I would definitely want a more intimate delivery and I’d make my wishes clear, not only to the nurses but to my friends and family. Between myself, my guests, nurse, paramedic and the doctor that adds up to over 15 people crammed into one tiny birth suite!
My tip to you is to make it clear to your nurse, spouse or midwife, friends and family in advance. Although I thought we’d have to abide by the the hosptial’s rules, they apparently thought I wanted all those people at my side because I never communicated my wishes to them. I never wanted to get down to it being time to push and then have to decide who gets to stay and who has to leave, I expected them to take care of that for me.
Tell me about your birth(s)? Did you purposely invite a lot of people or was it super intimate? Did you have more people than you wanted who asked to be at the birth? Did you have to tell anyone no?
I’m Julie, a former cloth diaper retailer who discovered a passion for the industry. Now, instead of selling cloth diapers, I advocate them and promote small businesses I love who sell and manufacture them.
I’m the wife of a fireman and mother of three. I have a daughter and identical twin sons.
